Treatment for Social Anxiety (part 1)

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I think the best way to learn the first part of my treatment for social anxiety is by experiencing it. So I would now like to guide you through an exercise that demonstrates the process. Before getting started, please think of an experience that you've had recently that caused you some moderately uncomfortable social anxiety. Alternatively, just think of some recurring or general situation that causes you to feel socially uneasy. We'll use that experience for demonstration.

For this exercise, you should be in a comfortable seated position, in an area free from distractions. You should not be driving or operating machinery of any kind. Please make sure you are in a suitable environment before continuing.

Read through the description of each step below fully before trying it out yourself. As you're reading, keep in mind that what you're reading is a transcript of an original audio recording.

STEP I

Please close your eyes now and relax. Start by directing your awareness toward the inside of your body, and just pay attention to the sensations that are there.. I would like you to place your mental awareness on the inside of your head.. Just mentally observe that area with your minds eye. Now move your awareness to the neck area.. Now down into your chest and stomach area.. Now move your awareness into your left arm.. Then the right arm.. Now down to the left leg.. Then your right leg.. Finally, expand your awareness so that it includes your entire body.. Relax like this for a few moments with full attention on the sensations throughout your body.

Imagine yourself now, in your mind's eye, in the situation that makes you socially anxious, or otherwise uncomfortable. Whether this is a past social interaction that caused discomfort, or an upcoming one that you're feeling nervous about, visualize yourself in the situation as if it is currently happening all around you, right now.

As you do this, you will quickly notice an emotional energy arise somewhere in your body. Transfer your concentrated awareness to that energy. Just LET IT come into you. Let the energy be there without trying to stop it. Do not react to the energy and do not try to analyze it. Above all, DO NOT try to suppress it. Just be with the sensation with all your accepting and observing awareness.

Each person's internal sensations will vary, but some examples of common ones are: pressure in the head area, tightness in the chest, or maybe aching in a leg. Sensations can range from physical ones like aching within muscles, to emotional ones like a butterfly feeling in your stomach, or the heaviness of disappointment.. If the sensation you encounter has an emotional nature like nervousness, be sure to just observe it as the energy instead. Try to avoid placing verbal labels like "nervousness" or "sadness" on energies. This type of identification requires thought and evaluation that interferes with your complete attentive listening to the pure energy. The key right now is to locate and concentrate on the energies. You can instead describe energies with words like "tingling energy", "smooth", "vibrating", "dense", "throbbing", and so forth.

If you can't find any energy, you are probably trying too hard - or making a simple process more complicated than it is. Just observe whatever the sensation is that's there in your body, or maybe throughout your body. Any emotion that you experience has an energy, a physical sensation, that accompanies it.. It's that physical sensation that we're interested in. If it helps, feel free to re-visualize the social-anxiety-producing situation.

STEP II

Once you've noticed the sensation, greet it as if it's a separate part of you by saying something like, "Hello energy". Focus on the energy, and try this greeting now.

In the past, you've probably been in the habit of either ignoring or avoiding the uncomfortable emotional and physical sensations within you.. Use this time now to instead consciously be with those energies. Focus your concentration on the energy you're spending time with as if you are listening to it, as if it is speaking to you with the sensations that are coming from it. Try to overcome all tendencies of avoidance, and feel true interest in wanting to listen to it.. Listen without analysis or evaluation, and without judgment of the sensation. Think of listening to the energy simply as focusing on and observing it with pure, thought-free, avoidance free, awareness. Try this now for a couple minutes..

Just as a good listener would place full mental attention on the person they are listening to, you should "listen" to the energy with all your accepting awareness -- meaning absent of analytical or judgmental thought - or any thought at all for that matter. Continue doing this for a few a couple more minutes.

When distracting thoughts come into your mind, just let them go and re-greet the energy... Tell the energy that the most important thing to you right now is getting to know and be comfortable with it. Continue listening for a couple more minutes.

Your capacity to stay focused and listening is like a muscle - as you practice, the stronger your ability will become. Whenever you lose focus, just say something to the energy like "I am with you energy". If other thoughts distract you, don't try to force them out of your mind, as doing so only gives them the power of your attention. Instead, just let them be there and let them float away. Distracting thoughts will become less of a problem as you concentrate on the energy fully. Just put your awareness back on the energy and say something like "Energy, I am with you now. Being with you is the most important thing at this time. I want to know you."

STEP III

Try now to describe the physical characteristics of the energy that you're with. Reflect your observations TO the sensation, as if you are speaking to it. You can either speak out loud or in your mind.

Here are some examples:

• Energy, you are a smooth sensation
• Sensation, you are a tingling vibration in my stomach
• Energy, you are dense and solid in my head
• Energy, you are thick and throbbing
• Feeling, you extend from my abdomen into my neck
• Energy, you are smooth and shaped like a rod
• Energy, you are like a heavy blanket in front of my face
• Energy, you are a subtle pressure in my chest
• Energy, you are like a thick cloud in my stomach
• Energy, you are aching behind my eyes
• Energy, you are a floating feeling

These are just general examples.. Since you have your own unique energies, you will also have unique descriptions. Try to use as many descriptive words as possible, encompassing shape, density, size, feel, etc. Tell the energy your observation of its physical characteristics. Your description does not have to be exact - perfection is not necessary. Just state the first observations that occur to you. Take a couple more minutes to try this now.

If you lose track of the energy or feeling you began with, you may want to repeat the entire process. Simply start over by re-visualizing the uncomfortable situation so that the energy is refocused within you. You will most likely notice that each time you repeat the process, the original energy's tendency to emotionally overwhelm you becomes less intense. Eventually, you may have a hard time even finding the uncomfortable energies that once affected you. Ultimately, you will feel in control of your emotions even if the energies do resurface, because you will have developed your ability to handle their presence.

Please continue practicing the above exercise if you would like more time with it.

NEXT PAGE: Social Anxiety Treatment [continued]