Overcoming Performance Anxiety

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While knowing that you would be able to handle those undesirable negative possibilities is comforting, true empowerment comes when you start taking real action and confronting the things that you fear. You are a person that must continually grow in order to be happy (we all are). See your anxiety as a wake-up call that growth has stopped, and the time for profound action is now.

The Self Therapy "listening" technique can help you to manage your emotions and get a grip on your anxiety, but don't make the mistake of trying to eliminate your fears completely before confronting them. The deep realization that you can truly handle anything, and the real freedom from anxiety, comes by proving to yourself that you have the capacity to feel fear and go through it. So to get out of your rut of stagnation, practice doing what you fear even when you don't feel like it - or even if you don't yet feel like it. Don't wait until you feel confident on the inside to take action on the outside. To achieve true confidence, do the things that you don't yet have the confidence to do. Massive inner strength comes by taking action when you're emotionally down. Start look for opportunities to practice - see events and situations in your life as "practice opportunities".

The best way to really defeat the discomfort of anxiety is to intentionally confront the underlying fear. For example, if you want to overcome social anxiety, learn to invite and even love that feeling of nervousness and awkwardness that arises while you're interacting. Whenever you notice yourself trying to avoid some person, interaction, or social situation due to anxiety, use that as an opportunity to practice being okay with your sensations.

See each of these challenges as one with yourself. For example, you are not just giving a speech, you are confronting your fear of speaking... Your focus isn't just on the speech; it is on being okay with the feelings during the speech. Regardless of how it goes, you are successful because you got up and felt those sensations. Give positive feedback to yourself while facing fears. You are doing something very important and very difficult. So compliment yourself frequently. Even "failure" is success.

Repeat the following affirmations after me. Say them with the feeling and realization that they are already your own beliefs.

• I know that good things come with going through my fears.
• The life I desire will be mine by continually going through my fears.
• I know that my life will probably stay the same if I avoid my fears.
• The anxiety I'm feeling is worse than the discomfort of change. I choose change.
• Successful people are able to go through fear, failure, and rejection. I do the same.
• I see anxiety provoking situations as opportunities to practice confronting fear.
• Whenever I feel anxiety, I take the opportunity to feel and accept the sensation.
• I now face situations with an attitude of emotional confrontation rather than avoidance.
• My fears have taught me how to have courage when I am afraid.
• I do not wait for complete confidence before confronting fear. I remember that confidence is CREATED by confronting fear. I take action even when I feel anxious or unconfident.
• Even if the worst outcome happens, I see it as a successful growth opportunity.

If there is one real gift that anxiety provides, it's dissatisfaction with dissatisfaction. If you're not making progress in your life, making productive use of your time, and moving forward with your goals in some way, you're probably going to get uneasy. For example, if you're experiencing anxiety now, it's very likely that you're not content with your present external circumstances. You might be holding back in doing some things in your life that you know need to be done, making some changes you know need to be made, or moving forward with your life in one way or another. The reason I say this is that anxiety often starts to dissolve once we begin to take action externally, and internally prove to ourselves that we are capable of achieving the circumstances we really desire.

Earlier we discussed how it is that once you develop confidence in your ability to handle any outcome, you will have eliminated the need for worry from which anxiety grows. Take that principle one step higher now, and realize that IF YOU BECOME A PERSON THAT CAN HANDLE ANY FAILURE, YOUR SUCCESS IS VIRTUALLY GUARANTEED. If you really want something bad enough, then no failure, no rejection, no setback will stop you from picking yourself up and trying again. Fear of failure is itself responsible for much of the negative thinking that leads to anxiety and inaction. Free yourself from this trap by changing your perception of failure. Remind yourself everyday that every failure is a learning experience and stepping stone to success, that you have the ability to accomplish the objectives you've set your mind to, and that you are now able to move through the discouragement and disappointment of any setback. You might make some mistakes, you might fail many times. But you will be able to persevere in the face of adversity because you're pursuing a vision that you passionately believe in.

Repeat these phrases with complete congruent and high intensity emotion:

• It is okay to make mistakes. I value the growth experience and try again.
• Success involves trial and error. I see failures as learning experiences.
• I do not fear failure, I embrace it, I go through it.
• I am now a non-perfectionist. Being a non-perfectionist enables me to do more, create more, and experience more
• I do not try to perform perfectly or appear perfect to others. Doing so would just increase my anxiety.
• I relinquish my desire to appear perfect to others. My interactions with others do not need to be perfect.
• My mistakes and imperfections make me human. I prefer to be human.
• I love and appreciate my imperfect life, imperfect events, and imperfect interactions.
• I love being an imperfect person. I love being a real and genuine person.
• I now take action, go through anxiety, and embrace the possibility of failure as a positive experience.

NEXT PAGE: Coping with anxiety by improving self esteem